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Showing posts with label Norman Louis Tapp. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Norman Louis Tapp. Show all posts

Oh Christmas Tree!

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Have you put up your tree?
Is it Living?Is it just cut-Barely Living- a Real Tree? Or is it Living in the Attic from year to year?

Memories of bringing home the Christmas tree always began with the question-When will Daddie be home?

Nothing Much commenced until the appearance of our own personal St. Nick- referred to as"Big Red"(a nickname bestowed in high school owing to being well over 6 feet tall and owning an abundance of auburn hair ).


Our own personal St. Nick was in Tennessee or Kentucky following sales of the Burleigh tobacco market. Yes-indeed those are Old Memories- as very few actual tobacco auctions transpire in today's world. I was raised upon it-the heady scent of cured tobacco before it was wrapped in paper,filter added and the end burned for what I consider a very sickening odor-but I digress. What I am talking about here is the scent of fresh pine-heavenly.

When would Daddie be home?
When could we get the tree?
When? When? When?

Every year the answer was the same-Not until your father gets home. December 19th, 20th? That late? If we didn't have an invite to cut a tree somewhere locally we would be heading off to the city to get OUR tree-finally.


Going this route our darling family was inevitably met with the less than trees on the lot and the most expensive. This was before the advent of the silk tree forests that Santa discovered while jetting about in his sleigh- introducing Instant POOF! Christmas Tree-No Chopping Required. Live trees cost quite a bit back then-I remember one year- I was likely about 12, so about 1960, we paid over $50 for a tree-that cut into Big Red's Christmas bonus Big Time I'm sure.

But it was all worth it. Getting the Damn Thing to stand in the stand, crawling about the already dried out-to be sure-limbs to water the Damn Thing, stringing fat colored lights (still absolutely Love those) on the Damn Thing, spending hours with them to actually get them to work.  Ah Yes, those were Memories indeed- That was Daddie's job-Of course we waited. Who else was going to do all that work? None other. One year Big Red walked into the house with a tornado of a German Shepard puppy. A Christmas surprise that included driving 8 hours home from the Burleigh with that "wee" one. Did we even Have a Tree that year? Probably- It was about 1965.

Oh! A Puppy, Daddie! Who does it belong to? (Okay- I was only 6 at the time- Of course I was in first grade-but still a Complete Naive.)


Naive? Well, just let me say-It was another year, I suppose I was about 9- that my two older brothers seriously damaged my psyche when they let it drop that St. Nick really was Big Red- and even more St. Nick was really Mother!
That was during the Georgia market- a yearly family enterprise. Summer meant Georgia Tobacco. There I sat in the middle of the big-surely bigger than Santa's sleigh- wood paneled station wagon with flanking brothers spoiling what was once the most magical season of my entire year- Christmas. Mother holding down the fort(the wagon that is) in front, while Daddie was in the warehouse checking up on business.

No Patricia Gaye- There isn't a Santa Claus, a St. Nick either! It is at this point in the tale- I must tell- I was naive and a slightly scared of Old Saint Nicholas. No- I was afraid of Santa and don't even get me started about the Elves. For me Santa was a bit old, sneaky and could easily have been brought up on charges of breaking and entering (Yes, bringing all that great stuff- but still...) and the Elves- just let me say 0Flying Monkeys in The Wizard of Oz.


I must also tell you- I took this news incredibly well, I was perhaps even relieved. I would say- quite maturely for someone who believed in a damned scary man that just happened to want children sitting on his lap and menacing Elves. No more Fear, A Christmas Wish List with more heft!  I was convinced then and there in the sweltering summer heat as none other than deep South Georgia can give- that there was no Santa-only my wonderful loving generous parents. Still- surely there was an Easter Bunny? I really said that. I believed in Harvey-in every way. The Easter Bunny still Lived On. At that very moment I uttered that -my two flanks rolled out of the open car doors to laugh hysterically at my precious innocence. Mother, I am sure saying Stop teasing your precious innocent sister.


But I digress.
This is a story about Trees.

After all of the offspring left home-Mother enjoyed accompanying Daddie to the Burleigh. What two vagabonds want to come home and toil over a sappy prickly tree on December 20th? That was the year- probably 1979-the Silk Christmas Tree Tradition at the Tapps began. My mother cried when the little white lights went on the tree replacing the darling fat color ones. She still believed. I cried too. So do I. Thirty years later the tradition continues. This year-an added bonus- No bending over to plug in the lights but the addition of little presser foot to flick the lights on as we say Merry Christmas!


Where does your tree live?
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honestly

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When scraps comes flying your way-You duck or it hits you right square in the face. The Honest Scrap- I took right in the kisser, savoring it. Being tagged by A Bloomsbury Life's Lisa is special, an amazing talent with the needle,creating modern day "samplers" with more than a bit of wit and wonder- just as she does in her blog.

Lisa tells me to share 10 random facts about myself &amp to tap seven fellow bloggers in return-

THE EASY PART
7 that inspire


5-JCB

Thank you to these wonderful bloggers who continually enrich my day with their own unique point of view.
 & though Home Before Dark does not write a blog, Her comments do the same.Here- an open invitation to commandeer little augury any day to lay 10 facts on us about Home.

&...10 about ME-they are not random-my posts are random enough-
and I am also a ruler breaker.

 1
I was born in a small Southern town, as were my parents. My mother & I-both born in the same small town we have returned to. I never thought I would return.
2
My parents moved to Raleigh at the age of 73- High school sweethearts, about to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary- My father was diagnosed with dementia- the dreaded word Alzheimer's was uttered. We added on a suite of rooms to my house making for a rambling, 5 bathroom (all tiny) house, originally built in 1911. I never thought I would live with my parents.
 3
In 2001, we celebrated my parents 50th at OUR house on December 23 with a smashing party of over 60 guests. It was a resounding success. My father's cousin coming from Florida, his brother and his wife- there as well.Many friends came- some my parents had known since they were children. Three years earlier I had given my father a 70th birthday surprise party in the same house- at the time his great aunt, Eustean was there. Three years later she was gone. On that February day when Daddie turned 70, I never thought I would hear the words Alzheimer's and face the fact that loss was coming one way or the other.
  4
 At the age of 42- I learned what unconditional love is all about-Something that had eluded me.Facing a failing-terribly flawed relationship- that One of absolute certainty that I was determined to make work, I asked to share my parents journey for however many years of that journey were left to them. Gathering forces- Teammates. For my mother and I, completely hopeless athletes- teamwork seems an amusing term, But for Daddie- the consummate natural athlete- It was easy. He proved to be the star once again. Bringing more joy and love into that house than ever hoped for. Always the pillar of strength, as that strength wained, his showed absolute strength in the surrender of his Independence. Watching my parents making this work- with Mother steering & Dad- allowing it. Being a part of their lives at this point, taking part, being present- I learned about unconditional love. I never thought I would know what real love is all about.
5






Laughter is the best medicine. When we hurt the most- Laughter carried us through.The three of us sitting amidst the profuse daffodils in the backyard after finding Daddie there-searching for a spot to garden in. Of course there was no chance he would be gardening that Summer, but He didn't know and that fact wasn't worth mentioning. He had fallen-nothing broken and no hurt feelings either. We were there to rescue him. Still over 6 feet-getting him up on his feet wasn't easy. In fact we all ended up in a sort of pile there on the ground before it was accomplished.
I never thought I would laugh so- in the face of Loss.
6
Loss does come. In 2004, my father died from complications due to his illness and the downward spiral in his health. I have suffered losses; Grandparents, a Beloved Aunt, a Boyfriend and a Best Friend- Hard losses. I have never felt such a sense of loss when on December 19th, Daddie finally surrendered. Gave up the fight.-that day he left OUR house, I knew He would not be back. Standing in the hospital, I glanced at my watch. It had stopped at a bit after 7 pm. I asked my brother for the time- it was after 7:30.  
What time did Daddie die?
Just a little after 7 he replied.
Of course I said.
I will never forget that moment.
7
I never thought I would learn so much from my parents at the age of 45.
 8
 



As I digg out in the garden or actually do a hard days work, I think of my Father. These things constituted a good day for Him- a great day actually. He was a mover, a doer. I sit down to pancakes and think about the breakfasts he made for me and my brothers- pancakes with walnut faces. I return home from a trip and am reminded of the many times he did the same. I would rush out to the car and sit in the passenger side while he finished up some maps in the car. He was always glad to get home- it was his haven, his heart. I knew I would miss him. I never knew how much.
9
My mother and I still live together. After leaving home for good- I lived alone in Raleigh NC for over 20 years. Alone, but not lonely. Living with Mother and Daddie changed me- A gift. Now we have returned to my small hometown. I never thought I would return.
  10
One never knows the path we will follow. Each twist and turn we think is leading us in one direction takes us in another. I have learned to Never say Never.

Queen for a Day, begging your Indulgence



we don't receive wisdom:
we must discover it for ourselves
after a journey
that no one can take for us
or spare us

PROUST



MY FAMILY TREE
A SWEETENED CONDENSED VERSION


THE LITTLE TUDOR
HOLIDAY 2008



MY BELOVED DADDIE
SUMMER GARDEN FROM THE PAST


MY ELDEST SIBLING PNT
SONGWRITER


LIZ MY NIECE
GRAPHIC ARTIST



JT MY NEPHEW
STUDENT & RAPPER


LIZ & JT


LIZ & PGT
NEW YORK TRIP



KCT BROTHER 2
CREATIVE DIRECTOR


JRG, BCT, KCT
FAMILY at an OBAMA Event 2008




GONE BUT NOT FORGOTTEN
SANDFORD PEELE & PGT
requiescat in pace 2008


ZETTA
GYPSY QUEEN


REMUS-THE CAT



MOSES WAITING
2008



my 50th

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a father's day prayer

my father as a young man propping up a shovel

" laborare est orare"
Saint Benedict

my mother and I talked today about my Daddie.

He died in December of 2004.

We miss him every day.

though I had lost grandparents, a boyfriend and a best friend to Death- None touched all the vulnerabilities I walk with until His Loss. I find his presence forever with me; In my own actions, my choices, and still my vulnerabilities. I am my father's daughter.

in moments of frustration- I find myself wandering to the green carpet of nature to strengthen my connection with Daddie.

many days after he had surveyed land from morning to eve- he would drive in and go from field ,truck , maps- his long day's work right to the yard- often just to pull the weeds that had crossed the line into the green carpet he nurtured, a carpet worked to serve as a moat of sorts for the house he built.

His family was his all.

His work was his prayer.

my Mother says "Your father played hard until we married, " a real athlete, like a kid- shooting marbles the afternoon of his wedding and then he took his vow to work for his family: Giving All.

"labrare est orare"
to work is to pray




Daddie and Liz in the scuppernong





SUMMER 1940


"as I gaze upon the sea! all the old romantic legends, all my dreams, come back to me."

Longfellow



my father ( hands on hips) and his grandmother Katie Elizabeth Carr Bass, Wrightsville Beach circa 1940

Easter Parade

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(above)
Easter Bonnet... the Cushwa Girls. My Mother and her mother and sisters~ (l to r- Bessie Mae Pettigrew Cushwa-Gramma, aunt Hank, BETTY ANNE center, ( My Mom), aunt Annette Mae, aunt Helen Charles.

My mom tells the delightful story of her sister
Hank, yes that's her name, Really! a nickname lovingly bestowed upon her by the only Cushwa "boy" George. BACK to Story. Betty Anne and Hank were at church one Sunday and both enthusiastically reached for the hymnal and the nettings, flowers and such in their hats got tangled helplessly together and they were stuck. Giggles, laughing, and I am sure deft parting ensued.

(below)Today's Catch...My Father (Norman Louis) as a little- in motion redhead, his nickname- RED, with pet bunny, Hon.

When asked by me about the picture- He would say "we were so poor I had to go out and catch my dinner if I wanted to eat!" That was my dad conjuring stories, the true and the "tall tale" kind that prevailed throughout my life as his daughter.





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